


All Lost

by thelonewolf88



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Angry Anakin Skywalker, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), No Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:29:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonewolf88/pseuds/thelonewolf88
Summary: Anakin is frustrated with the council again, not feeling seen or trusted. And who else has to fix him other than his Master.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 99





	All Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)
> 
> Just to let you know, this is a not-so-good mess, but I had to pour my emotions into something, so here it is :D you have been warned

Anakin hasn’t felt like this for some time. But now, it was like the whole world was against him. Nobody understood, nobody cared. All they wanted was to stick to the same principles as always. Rules and more rules. All the lost lives, that could have been saved. And nobody listened to him, they all doubted him. He wanted to scream, to run, to punch something.

And he did. As soon as he reached his room, he punched the nearest wall. And one punch wasn’t enough, it only spurred him on. He felt himself getting more and more angry. This wasn’t good and he knew it. He was supposed to get over these feelings years ago, but he couldn’t. No amount of meditation or talking about it helped. And he tried, he really did. The young Jedi knew he was too emotional for his own good. Sometimes he looked at the others, at his former master and he was ashamed. But most of the time he was glad he wasn’t like them.

After looking at his now bloody knuckles he rested his forehead against the wall and took a deep breath in. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He just wanted to be somewhere else. Some place where he could be happy, not having to deal with all this crap. There wasn’t anything that was worth it anymore. He sighed.

That’s when he heard the door open. Familiar sound of Obi-Wan’s shoes filled the room. _Great_ , he thought. Another fun conversation ahead.

“Anakin, are you alright?,” the older one asked. And Anakin could hear the worry in his voice. Maybe there _was_ a reason to stay.

“Talk to me, please,” Obi-Wan urged him on. Anakin had to get lost in his thoughts again. But he didn’t speak, he couldn’t. He had nothing to say, sadness replacing his anger.

Now he felt a pressure on his shoulder, something trying to turn him around. He resisted for a moment, not wanting to show the tears that started to form in his eyes. But the older man pulled him into a hug so he couldn’t fight him.

Obi-Wan started shushing him, stroking his hair, comforting him. But Anakin wouldn’t have any of that. His thoughts started racing again, his head filled with new and new reasons why nothing made sense and how everyone around him was wrong.

“I can’t Master, I’m sorry,” he just briefly apologised while escaping Obi-Wan’s arms. “I can’t stand it anymore. They’re all wrong and no one sees it. It’s too frustrating, I don’t want to become a Jedi if this is what it takes.”

The answer he got was just a blank stare. And Anakin knew. He knew his Master would side with the council. He was a man of principles. Obi-Wan trained himself to please them, to be their machine. But Anakin couldn’t do that. He had too many emotions, he couldn’t just shut them out.

“So yeah, Master. I’m leaving. I don’t want to stay. There’s nothing for me here. Just pain and misery. I wish I never left Tatooine and my mother. My life wouldn’t be as interesting, but it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble,” Anakin was getting heated. He was now almost screaming, getting it out on Obi-Wan who still seamed lost for words.

“And thank you, Master, for the help with the council when I needed it. Thank you for standing up for me, for believing in me. You know, maybe if you showed at least some emotions during my training maybe I wouldn’t turn out so messed up!,” the irony in his voice being too obvious to be mistaken for anything else.

“You think I don’t believe in you, Anakin,” the older man finally asked, his voice broken, shaking for some reason Anakin couldn’t understand.

“Well yeah, it sure looks like you don’t. You never encourage me, you never trust me with anything and you alway doubt me! Sometimes I think you don’t even care about me.”

“Are you finished? Because if so, I will leave you, I can’t listen to this anymore. I gave up a lot for you. I was just a boy when I took you on as my padawan. I always did what was best for you, pushing my own needs aside and now this is what you say? That I don’t care? There haven’t been many I cared for, I admit that, but if your anger has blinded you so much that you can’t even see how much I care for you, then I think I failed. Both you and myself,” Obi-Wan managed to get out. And if Anakin didn’t know him for as long as he did, he would miss the small pauses between his words and he would miss that he hurt his Master. And oh, how ashamed that made him.

Anakin reached out his hand, stopping Obi-Wan from leaving.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to get it out on you. I’m just tired with the council and with everything. And be honest, you have to see that no one beside you trusts me. I’m like a stranger here, the stray dog who can’t find his way back home,” Anakin tried to reason, embracing his Master in his arms. Anakin rested his head in Obi-Wan’s hair, relishing the smell that he might never get to experience again. Maybe he was too much to handle. He wouldn’t blame Obi-Wan for leaving.

“Anakin?,” Obi-Wan got out softly.

“Yeah, Master?,” the other answered, tightening his grip around him.

“Don’t you dare leave me.”

“What?,” Anakin was shocked at that response.

“Don’t you dare leave me here. If you can’t take it anymore, I’m leaving with you. Wherever. I can’t lose you, I don’t want to lose you,” Obi-Wan stated as if it wasn’t anything special.

And now Anakin just felt bad again. He suddenly understood why attachment was forbidden. He and his Master got too close. They needed each other and were willing to do things for each other that they shouldn’t. He couldn’t stay, but he knew that if Obi-Wan left with him, he would be miserable.

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not true,” Obi-Wan interrupted him.

“Yeah? You know?”

“Of course I know. You don’t want me with you because you think I can’t take it. I can, believe me. If you knew what I’ve been through, you wouldn’t question me,” he said, slowly unwrapping himself form Anakin’s arms, but still staying in close proximity.

“I want to continue, I want to fight the bad and keep the peace. I just, I don’t know, okay? The only thing I know is I have to run. I’m panicking here, I’m trapped. I’m no good, just trouble. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t know what else do to.”

Obi-Wan could feel Anakin getting angry again. And he knew that words weren’t the thing that could stop him. So he placed his right arm against Anakin’s chest, pushing him against the wall, leaning into him.

“Anakin, stop. I don’t want to hear anything anymore, we will solve this later. Now, you breathe, okay? Can you do that for me?”

And Anakin’s world suddenly seamed to stop. His Master was close, too close. Their bodies were touching and he could feel every Obi-Wan’s move. He tried to take a deep breath in, but his lungs betrayed him. Instead, his gaze dropped to the other’s lips. What was he doing? He has never thought about his Master like this. Sure, he knew Obi-Wan was pretty, but he never felt attracted to him.

And Obi-Wan noticed. His eyes fixated on his Padawan’s lips in return, his body moving even closer.

“What is happening?,” Anakin whispered. A little scared, but not wanting to stop. Curious what was going to happen next. Eager to find out if his Master had it in him to close the space between them.

“I don’t know,” was the answer Anakin got. And soon he could feel Obi-Wan backing away from him.

“Hey,” Anakin tried to stop him, “come back here, I’m not done complaining just yet,” he teased, sliding his arm onto Obi-Wan’s back, bringing him close again.

“Are you ever?,” Obi-Wan tried to cut the tensions between them.

But Anakin wouldn’t have it. He was angry and sad and confused. He needed something to make him feel better. And his Master was right there, pressing against him, making him feel things he didn’t even know were possible to feel.

“Anakin, you know this is inappropriate. Can you tell me what are you trying to do?”

Oh, the same old Obi-Wan was back. And Anakin knew he wouldn’t get anything else out of him, so he tried something else. Something he was good at.

“Well, since you don’t want to listen to me complain anymore, I need to do something so I won’tgo crazy. Right now I’m thinking about my tongue sliding against yours,” Anakin responded while closing his eyes, letting his fantasy play out in his mind. He rolled his hips, trying to find some friction.

“And now about you lifting my leg, wrapping it around your waist, bring us even closer,” Anakin continued, his face getting red and hot, his eyes still closed, eye-lids fluttering.

Suddenly he could hear Obi-Wan growl and his eyes shot open. But by the time he got to respond Obi-Wan lips were on his and he got what he wanted, his Master’s tongue in his mouth, fighting him like it was the only thing left to do in this world.

Now it was Anakin who made a sound. He moaned softly, rocking his hips against Obi-Wan again, now with more purpose. And when he felt Obi-Wan do the same motion, he wasn’t stopping himself anymore. He wanted Obi-Wan to tear him apart, he wanted him to break him and then fix him again like he was an abandoned droid in the middle of nowhere.

And then Obi-Wan was lifting his left leg, trying to get closer to Anakin, if that was even possible. And the younger one responded by wrapped his left leg around Obi-Wan’s waist, helping him, helping himself.

It was all getting too much. They were both panting, having to take breaks from kissing each other just to get a change to take a breath. Anakin’ was a mess and their worlds were collapsing on each other.

And oh, Anakin could feel himself getting close. He didn’t know how that happened and he was too lost to care. The muscles on his Master’s back were too defined below his fingers and the way Obi-Wan was touching him like he knew exactly what to do was simply too much.

His mind was suddenly too full to hold back. He poured out all his emotions into his and Obi-Wan shared bond. The sadness, the joy and the ecstasy. And he could now feel how close Obi-Wan was as well.

“Master,” he pleaded. Throwing his head back, his hips still doing the same motion.

“Say it again,” Obi-Wan commanded him as he stopped kissing him and nipped at the skin below his ear.

“Master, please, I can’t anymore. Touch me, I need you,” he added this time. Glad he was too worked up to feel ashamed.

And with that, Obi-Wan brought his hand down to touch Anakin thought his pants, the tension being enough for the younger one to come. Lust and passion now flowing through both the men, causing Obi-Wan to join Anakin.

After a while, Anakin raised his head from his Master’s shoulder, laughing softly.

“This is not how I imagined my evening ending,” he said while still sousing wrecked, but satisfied.

“Yeah, me neither,” Obi-Wan just admitted. A small smile forming on his lips. The kind of smile he only got when he was around his Padawan.

Now Obi-Wan was dragging Anakin to his bed, laying Anakin’s head on his chest. Relishing the comfortable silence that surrounded them. He could feel how calm Anakin now was, a feeling no amount of meditation could evoke in him.

“Master?,” Anakin broke the silence.

“Hmm?”

“Will we do this again?”

And Obi-Wan just laughed at that, being genuinely happy that his Padawan was okay again. That he probably forgot that he ever wanted to leave.

“Yeah, I think we will do this again.”


End file.
